kelsyabbott:

I used to play the plastic whistle in a Counting Crows cover band called Slicing Dice. It was rad except for Jamie, one of the tambourine players. She’s a bitch AND the reason I got kicked out. The other band members think she’s so fucking great because she gets her nails done all fancy. They were always saying stuff like, “oh, jamie! whats on your nails today?!” and “ooooh jamie! you have really great nails” and “damn it, kelsy! stop chewing on the microphone cord!” 

I was sick of it so I decided to paint little white dog faces on my nails so everyone would like me as much as Jamie, or as I like to call her, LAME-ie™.  I had to do them myself because I don’t have any friends (yet!) and I’ve heard salons use chemicals that make you pass out so they can play with your privates. I’m not very good at nail art and the dog faces ended up looking like sad teeth.  (I couldn’t get a good photo of my nails, so I drew a picture of what the teeth look like) I thought sad teeth nails were still pretty cool and I went to band practice to show them off. Big mistake. Apparently “Sad Teeth” is the name of a rival Counting Crows band and everyone freaked out and accused me of being a traitor! I told them I can’t keep track of all the other Counting Crows cover bands and Jamie was all like “yeah right” and I lost it and punched her up pretty bad. And because everyone loooooves Jamie soooo much I was kicked out. 

I visited Sad Teeth’s practice space to ask them to let me join, but I accidentally spilled some Snapple on one of their amps and they made me leave before I got a chance.  All shit. Fucking Jamie

Sorry to lay all this shit on you guys. Just had to vent. 

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