What would happen if the Universe woke up all of a sudden? Nothing was here, it was nothingness. Pre-Big Bang conditions. Universe wakes up, pure consciousness, pure fucking consciousness…no differentiation, just consciousness just pure awareness right? No body but infinitely conscious of itself…completely aware.

The initial reaction to that sense of being aware that you’re nothing? That you’re nothingness? It’s this weird resonance, it would create horror is what it would do. It would create this anguished terror from waking up and realizing you’re here and you’re some primordial thing.

Imagine this, lets just put in this weird idea, this idea that this infinite consciousness had some ability to experience, aloneness? Y’know, loneliness? Aloneness?

We are the Universe experiencing itself in this specific way. The Universe has divided itself into a lot of shit, and part of that shit is feeling.

lonely, pain, suffering, angst, horror, happiness, joy

And you are infinity, sticking its head into this little bubble of whatever this place is, and feeling.

We don’t know if there was something before the big bang, but we do know it blew up. Something exploded. It’s almost that it maybe had some kind of fucking nervous breakdown. It shattered into a bunch of fucking infinite pieces in which we’re one part, we’re part of that. What we are is one tiny little broken shard of the Universe that blew up a long time ago…

And it’s like, what I considered what I thought would be like this initial state of absolute horror everyone in their own lives and in their own way is dealing with it on a very small level.

The fear of death, the fear of merging back into the nothingness. The fear, all that stuff manifests in your life as…as fear…and weakness. And it’s like, we’re like tiny little fragments of the Universe trying to fix itself on a minuscule level.

That’s what I was thinking when I was tripping.